To Be or to Become?
Are We Born Who We Are Meant to Be? Or Do We Become That Person As Life Progresses?
I’ve always wondered are we born with our talents, or do they come to us as life takes us through the mazes of becoming ourselves? Are we who we were at birth, or do we come into ourselves as life progresses? These are the questions that I ask myself and other people daily, and most everyone answers it differently, with a certain amount of personal philosophy behind it. Usually I feel unsure but deep down, I do know something about these questions- I’m someone who was born with a strong desire to do something, not for someone else but for my own sanity; I love telling stories.
Stories, stories and more stories filled my head.
On the other hand, the discouragement of not being an academically (in the field of science) gifted child always stuck with me. I felt like a loser and made no friends because if I couldn’t get good grades and couldn’t please my parents; how was I worthy of love from others? How did I deserve to be heard or seen? How did I deserve to have my own thoughts?
I was a very introverted child. I didn’t trust that my voice would be heard or even understood. Why should I? Other people’s opinions of me were important, not mine. So instead of being seen for who I truly was, I stayed invisible -to myself and others. I became a listener and a shadow of myself. I feared others’ opinions of me because I thought that I could never be perfect enough to please people, especially my family.
But stories saved me, I told them to myself; stories of people and places that only lived in my imagination. On a bad day at school, I would think of a story about a child who didn’t need school. When I was lonely and had no friends, I made stories of a kid who ruled the world. Storytelling kept me sane and became my best friend and confidant. As time passed, I finally realized that I could write my stories, which brought more joy once I could see my words written down. The first piece I shared with the world was a poem during my junior year of high school. I had been writing short stories for a few years but had never attempted to write a poem. One day, the poem came to me when I was at my desk writing out my daily assignments, then the thought, “Being…