Anger, in my opinion, is one of the noisiest emotion a human can have. People insult, hurt, and even kill in a rage of anger. In movies, the protagonist will only take action when anger is carved in his/her eyes and flows through the sweat beads that sit on their brow. I feel that anger is such a superficial emotion; it comes and goes like a rainbow after the rain or a spoilt child who throws the first gift aside to open the remaining 56.
A long time ago, I learned that growing up a brown female in a somewhat conservative family, being angry didn’t look pretty on me. Being an introvert, I never showed how angry I was, and honestly, for a long time, I just thought that I didn’t deserve to be angry and whatever the world threw at me was acceptable.
Eventually, I learned that I could be as angry as my bullies and others around, but how get over it?
So I did an exercise on how to deal with my anger towards others. It allowed me to see that I had so much hidden anger towards so many things and that I was in total denial about it. I appeared to be a calm, collected person, but once something from the past would trigger my anger, I would just fall into a depression. For years, I had this silent killer in me without even knowing it. Once I figured what was pulling me down, I had to slash those demons.
It was time now to become my own “Knight in Shining Armor”; because no one else would come and save me.
One fine day, I sat down for my morning meditation session, closed my eyes, and chose to question my anger. I talked to it how I talk to my kids (with love and kindness), questioning its motive. I asked myself what the things that made me angry in the past and the present were. After I started to get my answers, I opened my eyes and wrote them down no matter how many tears fell. I continued to write everything I remembered that angered me — the people, the moments, the emotions, sights, and even lousy food that gave me diarrhea!. It was challenging as my anger rose and fell, but I had no one else to blame for keeping that inside of me.
Once I was a bit calmer, I then blessed everything (including the Shrimp Salad) that caused these negative feelings. I said,
“I bless you and let you go__________ even though you made me angry.”
I removed the poison that was flowing in my veins and changed it into love and forgiveness by blessing it. I felt physically lighter when I did. It was like I weighed less! I felt like someone had removed a massive rock that sat on my head and had been crushing me for years.
Today, take 20 minutes of your time to do this- slash your demons with love. It’s not an easy exercise but take my word for it; this will change your life. Bless these demons every single day.
Save your own damn self because you ARE your own knight in shining armor.