14 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self

Tami Shaikh
3 min readDec 14, 2020

Dear Tami,
I hope you are well and feeling ok about your impending arranged marriage. Well, I actually know you aren’t, but eventually, life will get better, I promise because I lived through it.

I am now a lot older, and you are only 21. I want to say so many things, but I don’t want to lecture you because I know how much you hate that. Here are a few things I want to tell you:

1-There is no use keeping things in your heart and sulking over them. The best thing to do is to say what you feel, speak your truth.

2-You spent your life being the “good girl” doing what everyone wanted from you because what people say matters too much. Let me tell you- that is bullshit, other people’s opinion about you mean nothing at all. Just be true to yourself.

3-Fear will stop you from doing many things-the fear of confrontation, hurting others’ feelings, and even just the fear of not knowing. Remember, Tami, fear is your biggest enemy; kick fear’s butt and let it leave your life. I know you think it’s not that easy, but know that you will overcome at least 100 things you were afraid of by the time you reach my age.
If you’re not doing anything wrong, be fearless. When fear starts crawling into your heart, tell yourself that you will overcome it the best way you can, no matter what the struggle.

4-Believe in yourself. You can achieve anything that you set your mind to. That Masters Degree that you didn’t get because of getting married at a young age — well, you will get it at 43 and another one at 47. You will make everyone around you proud. And in the process, you will teach your children to become life-long learners.

5-When you become a mother, love will mix with doubt, and your life will become so much more fulfilling and complicated. Every minute of every day, you will fear for your children’s safety; you will want them to be happy above all. These are all normal feelings.

6-Don't fear motherhood or any relationship, for that matter.

7-People will come and go in your life, and they will make your life beautiful as they pass you by on this journey. Family is never a blood connection but a bond that comes from mutual love and respect.

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Tami Shaikh

Author of 3 books, Contributor to Huffington Post, Thrive Global, & Chicken Soup for the Soul. Life is full of stories; I like to tell them. www.tamishaikh.com